Hey friend,

Since Halloween, Lauren and I have been hiding a giant bag of candy in our dresser to make sure that Golda wouldn’t find and eat it all. And because of that, I’ve been eating a piece of candy or two every day. I don’t want to. But I do.

Here I am, going back day after day for a Crunch or Almond Joy. That’s right. Not even the good candy. One minor slip has devolved into a complete backslide.

Given the circumstances of the year, maybe I should be more forgiving. Reflecting on my 2020 goals, I notice…

Dear.
No.
Hello there!
Nope.
Hiya! Meh.
Hey.

For the last few months, Golda has been practicing her birthday. Lying in her crib every night she’d sing happy birthday to herself. She’d ask us to light candles so she could practice blowing them out.

“When is your birthday?” And she practiced “Oct-TOE-ber Ay-TEEN. We have Elmo cake. Sing hap-bur-day. Blow candles. Say yayyy!” And on her birthday, we did just that.

Three days later was the first anniversary of my aunt’s death. The tradition is to light a yahrzeit candle that burns for 24 hours in her memory. Instinctively, Golda…

Friend,

Today marks the weekend between Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the day of atonement. The Jewish calendar is intentional in starting the year with a celebration and giving us a full week to examine the past year and make plans for the year ahead.

But regardless of your religious beliefs, this period of introspection comes at an interesting time. We just marked 6 months since COVID lockdown here. This weekend could be a time to reflect on how this last year has changed us and what we’ve done to actively adapt.

Today I’m reflecting on…

Play
Some days, when the world is feeling particularly dark, I’ve found that playing a record helps. Any album, really. I love the mechanics of it all–the automatic motions of the arm and the crackle before the first song. The predictability of one song after the next. The 25 minutes of linear auditory experience.

My favorite part of the stereo is the buttons. The way each one gives in and clicks when it’s pressed hard enough.

For me, it contrasts a current feeling of isolation (stick with me for a second). Even when I see people right now, we’re distant…

Good morning, friend.

I. Changing My Mind
Six years ago this week I was traveling through Vietnam and Cambodia. I remember the street food, the hostels and beaches, and biking through the rain.

But nearly 50 years before that, the first American troops were wading onto the beaches north of Da Nang as we entered the Vietnam war. The idea of traveling to Hanoi for pleasure was out of the question just one generation prior. As a culture, we change our minds as politics change.

In a recent conversation with my family, we discussed the imcomplete story we alllearned about…

Hey there friend,

I. Language of Privilege
I found myself looking for scripts this month. How can I talk to my daughter about race? How can I convince my conservative relatives that we are all biased? Start conversations about non-racism vs anti-racism? How do I start talking about and then addressing my own privilege?

Let me start here. Black lives matter. In a country that historically and systematically devalues Black lives and destroys Black bodies, I can start by making it clear that I believe that Black lives, of every kind, matter.

What I’ve discovered is that scripts and language…

Hey there!
Thanks for opening the fridge. Hope you enjoy these snacks.

I. What is The Lesson?
Splayed across the table lie a handful of colorful jelly beans. My daughter Golda, who just turned 19 months old, stands in front of her toddler-sized green chair counting. “Wwwwwwuuuun… Tooooo… threeee…. Furteen!” It makes for an adorable video. As we’re teaching her numbers and colors, it also reminds me how we learn.

When we start something new, we’re going to be bad at it. We sound silly, look stupid, and do things wrong before we finally get them right. Beginners suck. …

I. This Is Our Life Now
Exactly one year ago, my wife, daughter, and I packed up our car and drove 18 hours from New Jersey to Chicago. As we crossed into Pennsylvania, Lauren turns to me and says “I guess this is our life now.” It’s become a running joke between us, that we feel a permanence and complete immersion in a temporary lifestyle. Those first few weeks of parenthood. An international flight. By the third day of a long vacation. And definitely these last few weeks in socially distant quarantine.

We get used to things so quickly that…